Parenting During the Teen Years
Parenting is a demanding and complex task, and just as you think you mayyyybe have a handle on it - they grow and develop and suddenly everything changes!
Here are some of the key differences between parenting teens and younger children
Parenting teenagers is different than parenting younger children in many ways, and it requires a unique set of skills and strategies. In this blog post, we will explore these differences and provide some tips for parents who are navigating this challenging and exciting stage of parenthood.
1. Communication is Key
One of the most significant differences between parenting teens and younger children is communication. As children enter their teenage years, they begin to assert their independence and develop their own identities. They may become less willing to listen to their parents and more interested in talking to their peers. THIS IS HEALTHY! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS!
To effectively communicate with teens, parents must be willing to listen and be open-minded. They should avoid being judgmental and instead strive to understand their child's perspective. Parents should also encourage their teens to express their thoughts and feelings and be willing to engage in discussions about sensitive or challenging topics. Parents: meet them where they're at. Seriously. If you want them to be open, you gotta be willing to hear things you don't love, or to look for the good in their favorite YouTubers, musicians, and video games.
If you struggle with the amount of TV they watch, check out this post about why kids want to watch the same thing over and over again!
2. Setting Clear Boundaries
Another difference between parenting teens and younger children is the need for boundaries. While you might feel that younger children may require more structure and rules to help them feel secure, teenagers need space to explore their independence and make their own decisions. Even things that feel like BAD decisions need to be theirs to make!
However, this does not mean that parents should abandon all rules and boundaries. Instead, parents should work with their teens to work towards a shared vision of how you ALL want your family and life to look like. Use their input! Ask for their expertise! It's your job as the adult to trust them more and more in the decision-making process. Big picture conversations about goals and principles are so much more helpful than rigid rules and consequences.
3. Teaching Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is another significant difference between parenting teens and younger children. While younger children may be more emotional and easily overwhelmed, teens often struggle with regulating their emotions in a healthy way.
Parents can help their teens learn how to manage their emotions by modeling healthy coping strategies, such as using game play as catharsis and an emotional outlet - here is a post about a great visualization for parents! They can also encourage their teens to seek professional support if they are struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges.
Check out this 30 minute webinar for parents on helping their teens navigate their big feelings. This is often where parents get triggered and this webinar gives you practical tools for handling that!
4. Navigating Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is a common concern for parents of teenagers. As teens become more independent, they may be more susceptible to the influence of their peers.
To help teens resist negative peer pressure, parents need to earn credit with their kids - which happens in small ways every day. Help your kids trust THEMSELVES and they will be more likely to develop positive social connections. This means allowing your teens to make decisions on how they spend their time, what they watch, what they eat, and what they do. You need to show you trust them so they trust themselves.
Bonus: If they know you trust them and they trust you - when you ask them to think critically about some one, they are less likely to dismiss it!
5. Understanding Technology Use
Technology is a significant difference between parenting teens and younger children. Today's teens are growing up in a world where technology is an integral part of their daily lives, and parents must be aware of the potential risks and benefits of technology use.
To help teens navigate technology use, please remember that phones, tablets, computers and TVs are all just tools! They are helpful tools for teens to get the social connection and group belonging that is so important for them at this age. Remember that there is no such thing as "enough time" for teenagers - they need an abundance of sleep, of friend time, and of cocooning time.
Here's a post answering your questions about how much YouTube kids should watch!
6. Encouraging Responsibility
As teens approach adulthood, they need to take on more responsibility for their actions and decisions. Parents can support their teens in this process by giving them opportunities to make choices and learn from their mistakes. But please remember parents - it's not about setting your teenagers up for mistakes they can learn from. It's about helping them feel like they matter.
Parents should provide guidance and support to facilitate their teens having opportunities where they have an actual real, responsible role. Where they can see their contribution, and how they can make an impact.
7. Embracing Independence
Finally, independence is a critical difference between parenting teens and younger children. As teens become more independent, parents must learn how to let go and trust their teens to make their own decisions.
This can be challenging for parents who are used to being in control. However, it's essential to recognize that letting go is a natural part of the parenting process and that teens need space to grow and develop.
But your teens, and even your young adult children, will always need you. This is why establishing a relationship where you enjoy each other, play games, and have fun is so important. Because even while they are out becoming more and more independent - you can still enjoy kicking their butts at Mario Kart, sending funny TikToks, and being the person they come to when they need help or just want to hang out.
Tips for Parenting Teens
Now that we've explored some of the key differences between parenting teens and younger children check out this upcoming webinar for parents who are navigating this challenging and exciting stage of parenthood.
Feelings Feeling - Teen Edition
Helping Teens Identify and Process Big Emotions
for parents of teens & young adults
30 Minute Parenting Webinar
by licensed therapist
Roya Dedeaux, LMFT 95302
Donations Appreciated but not required.
Q&A and Raffle afterwards
Roya Dedeaux is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a focus on using creative tools like art, writing, and recreation as a way to help teens and their families who don't quite fit the mold.
Roya’s first book, Connect with Courage: practical ways to release fear and find joy in the places your kids take you is the result of her background in Recreation and Leisure Studies and Marriage and Family Therapy and is the base of her Connect with Courage Parenting Course.
She loves running her private practice, creating art prompts for her
two online art groups, and running games and challenges in the
free Recreate Parenting Facebook community! When she's not doing that, she loves to make messes with her three wild & wonderful kids where they live and play hard in Southern California.
Connect With Courage
