You've been planning for it since the weather started getting warmer. You've been looking forward to spending time as a family, to adventures, to getting to connect with your kids without fights about homework and getting up for school on time.
You've spent a ton of time and money trying to create the best summer vacation, whether you're traveling for summer break or having a staycation. You've even read the other blogs - the 5 big travel vacation mistakes, how to avoid summer break child behavior problems, how to make sure you don't mess up your kids summer sleep schedule...
But let me tell you something so many of those mainstream parenting blogs don't tell you - here are 3 common mistakes that will get in the way of that perfect summer vacation with your kids, and how to avoid them. Three ways to make sure you connect instead of have conflict, and get an actual refreshing break.
Hey parents. It's okay to get your kids input with how and where you spend your vacation! Hot take: It's their break too! Let them have control and agency, practice collaborative decision making, and respect their choices. It's okay to spend family resources on fulfilling your children's wants.
One of my all time favorite family vacations was a big trip we took to Dinosaur National Monument, thanks to my then-6-year-old. He got so much value, not only out of being able to touch actual dino fossils, but also being able to tell everyone proudly that he got to plan it. He glowed with the knowledge that we respected his interests enough to have this amazing experience!
UGH. STOP IT. Not everything needs to be a lesson! Or rather - not every learning experience needs to be articulated or formalized to be learned from. I promise, your kids are learning on your vacation. They can't help it. Ever tried to spend a day NOT learning something? It's impossible. They're learning. Let them just have the experience without any extra anything.
We learn best when we are enjoying ourselves without coercion or pressure. They get enough of it during the school year. Give them a break.
Sometimes the joy of an experience is showing it off! Just because your kids are on their phones during a vacation doesn't mean they aren't enjoying themselves. Friendships are really, really important to your kids and stuff in their social life can change quickly. Even being cut off from them for a week can be monumental in their world.
Be compassionate and let them view your summer break through their own, and their friends, eyes. You show them respect, and create a bridge between you instead of resentment.
If you are looking for more help on navigating summer vacation and screen time - check out this parenting webinar by licensed therapist Roya Dedeaux!
30 minutes of solution-focused ideas, inspiration, and help with implementation.
Say goodbye to summertime struggles over screens! Say hello to enjoying your kids and the vacation you deserve.
Roya Dedeaux is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a focus on using creative tools like art, writing, and recreation as a way to help teens and their families who don't quite fit the mold.
Roya’s first book, Connect with Courage: practical ways to release fear and find joy in the places your kids take you is the result of her background in Recreation and Leisure Studies and Marriage and Family Therapy and is the base of her Connect with Courage Parenting Course.
She loves running her private practice, creating art prompts for her
two online art groups, and running games and challenges in the
free Recreate Parenting Facebook community! When she's not doing that, she loves to make messes with her three wild & wonderful kids where they live and play hard in Southern California.