5 Ways I Learned to Play More

Number one is to ask kids for instruction. If your kids are anything like mine, they usually have a pretty clear idea of things they like to do, and are very willing to give you ideas, suggestions, sometimes even the script of what to say sometimes, sometimes it's my hand moving the little figurines, and I'd say the lines that they tell me to say, and that's what they want. They want me engaged and they want me there but I don't necessarily need to be the world's most inventive person.

And other ways to take instruction from them is to do something fun and kind of flip the regular script of who's in charge. My kids love to have yesterday's or yes hours or 15 minutes, whatever we have, where they get to be in charge of stuff.

Or sometimes we let the flip of the coin.

Actually, that was one of our most memorable birthdays for my son was when we decided to use a coin toss.

We decided to all get in the truck all together and every time we came to a different direction we would turn left or right based on what the coin said.

So whether it's asking your kids for instruction, letting them be in charge or coming up with some other kind of technique that can drive your play. It doesn't all have to come from the second one is to imitate playful people.

This is a big I think a lot of times we feel like because we're not naturally playful. We don't really feel playful that we just can't play. That's a really big barrier and we get to knock it off because we can totally just copy people that we know we're playful.

If you don't know anyone, there's a lot of TV shows. I would start with Bluey, to be honest, playing the games that they play.

If you know people who are great at being playful, invite them over, go hang out with them, go to the park with them. Look at what they do and copy it. It reminds me a lot when you're learning how to do art. It's a totally valid technique to trace and copy and copy and copy art that you really like and admire. Eventually, you'll be able to do it well and then you can take it on and make it your own. But at the very beginning, copying somebody else is a solid way to learn. And the same goes for playfulness.

My third tried and true technique is to start with a costume.

I did this all the time. If I'm not feeling particularly playful, and know that my famil needs it, I go put on a hat. I go put on some sort of costume, my favorite’s probably my renaissance fair dress. I find some butterfly wings, put on face paint, I do something even if it's just wearing a fancy dress, something to get us out of the ordinary. Add just that touch of whimsy to our day. But don't even have to change what we're doing. I might still be doing errands I might still be doing the dishes, whatever it is that we're doing, but now we're doing it Phantom.

When you start with a costume, you get yourself out of the ordinary. Sometimes it can help you get in a slightly different character and it's just sort of a cue to your mind that you get to let go of the day to day and do something really special.

You can get your kids in on it. Of course they can wear different costumes or you can all swap clothes or everyone wears some silly mask or whatever it is. Doesn't really matter. But you've got something in your house right now. Even if you don't have an entire classroom literally close like we do. You've got something that you can add to your day to day to change it up.

Number four is to set a timer. This is one of the things that I've come to realize that if I am reading, I realized that I'm dreading the thought of the open ended.

I'm thinking about my whole to do list and thinking about all the things I want to get done. And if I say yes to play, it feels like that's going to be the rest of my day.

And that's not always feasible. And sometimes the thought of having to do something for hours and hours makes it so I don't even start for two minutes.

So setting agreed upon time with your kids makes everyone understand and relax and be able to trust that you're gonna get a certain amount of weight.

So maybe it's an hour, maybe it's five minutes, but whatever it is, set that timer, communicate what's going to happen and then live by it. do other things during that time. If you've only set your timer for 10 minutes to play, can't be on your phone and can't do work. You can't do the other stuff. Just set aside everything else and play but that part of your brand is worried that it will be never ending gets to be quiet because you know there will be an end to it.

And as far as your kids go, they know that they're gonna get your whole hearted full attentiveness and playfulness for that amount of time.

Sometimes it's only to the brain because just a little bit, get started. And then there's nothing stopping you from continuing that timer, doing five minutes again, doing five minutes again, doing five minutes again, or say once an hour, we're gonna set the alarm for 10 minutes something whatever it is that everybody's on it.

And number five goes hand in hand with setting a timer, which is to play first and work second.

This one was a hard one for me. I really, unfortunately, kept coming to the table with my kids thinking I've just got this one thing to do. I just have to do this one email or I just have to write this one. Whatever that one thing was I'm just gonna do that real quick and then I'll play. Of course, work is never ending. One thing leads to another leads to another.

And while my kids are relatively patient they're still children as are yours. And it wasn't really fair to ask him to hold on to that long.

So I flipped it. I started saying okay, we're gonna play and then I'm going to do the work. And I thought of it more as you know, filling their bucket up. So that basically station meeting with that sense of playfulness, connecting time. And then I'd say “okay, cool. We just played. That was awesome. Thank you so much. Now I'm gonna go over here and I'm gonna do this other thing I need to do.”

Everyone was happier. We had so much less tension and begging and no come back and interruptions and all of that. So flip it, play first, do the work second.

This barely scratched the surface on  ways that you can play more with your kids. But they're a good place to start. If you've got anything else tried and true to just kind of get over that hurdle and play more with kids. I would love to hear about it. Please let me know.

And in the meantime, I'm going to give you all some homework to go play. Set a timer, even 10 minutes today put on some costumes, and go play with your kids. You will all appreciate it

I hope you enjoyed this episode of Recreate Parenting Podcast. As always, I want to invite you to set aside and honor some time for creativity every single week by joining The Recreative Online Art Group (formerly known as the Play with Purpose group). You can find information about that and everything else has to offer for you creative parents at Royadedeaux.com.